Haunted, Bat Door Decor

Great (easy!) idea for a spooky, DIY Halloween door. See more ideas at Countryliving.com

Halloween Pumpkin

I am already planning for Halloween. I love the idea of making my own pumpkin stencil. This would be so easy - just create using your word processing software of choice (in the creepiest font you can find, of course), size to fit your pumpkin, tape it on and carve away.

Orgy Anyone?

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy 2013 Now Playing! - Watch MoreFunny Videos

Adele's Live Performance of "Someone Like You"

Watch Adele's Heartbreaking VMA Performance of "Someone Like You"

Man, can this chick sing. Click on the link above to see here live performance at the VMA's.  No props, no T&A - just a pure, heartfelt voice.

The Shape of a Mother

We've all seen pictures of famous women after they've had a baby looking slim and perfect in record time. Frankly, I'm sick of it. I admit, I know a few people whose bodies seemed to bounce back quickly after giving birth too. Further investigation almost always reveals boob jobs, tummy tucks, crash diets and personal trainers. If we all know women who have kids usually end up with stretch marks, flabby tummies that won't go away no matter how many crunches we do and wider hips, why does the media keep shoving these false images of newly minted, perfect moms down our throats? My theory? To sell us products, send us to the gym and doctors, make us buy stretch mark creams and ab crunchers, and encourage the men in our lives to push us to these things if we don't already feel bad enough about the way we look. Let's face it, if everyone accepted their bodies, and felt good about themselves, a huge market would dry up overnight. Making women believe normal is this plastic, Barbie doll, fake perfection is what helps marketers sell their products.

I did a quick Google search on post-baby bodies and only one image result showed a woman with a realistic post-baby tummy (Julia Roberts, who was being picked on in the accompanying article for being a fat cow). Every other image showed a model-actress-singer striking a sexy pose in a revealing outfit, face trained in a look designed to make us believe she wasn't paid a fortune to pretend she really looked like this with no help from anything but good genes, mere days after having her baby.

Here are some examples:

At least she has thighs.  But, size two? I haven't been a size two since I was seven.

At least this actress admits she was paid for this gig and says it took a solid year of working out to get this shape. But, doesn't anyone really believe those airbrushed abs are real? Like most of these articles on-line, the magazines don't allow readers to comment. They know we'd all be crying foul.

I saw Heidi walk down the VS runway two months after giving birth too. So, why the need to airbrush her perfect abs for ads for her jeans? I laughed reading her thoughts on motherhood, and getting your body back, because she said (reading between the lines here), "If you didn't have a strut-your-ass-down-a-runway-practically-naked body before you had a baby, you won't have one after giving birth either." At least she's semi-honest.

For those of you who, like me, prefer to keep it real, check out this nifty website, The Shape of a Mother where you can see real images of real women post baby. It's a much needed reality check for normal moms everywhere.  Bravo and it's about time.

Cracked is Still Cracking me up

I needed a laugh today, and Cracked.com came through with their article on unintentionally terrifying statues (featuring one I've been wondering about myself - Chicago's giant, ugly eyeball).

The only possible use for something like this would be in the courtyard of a museum dedicated to Ophthalmology (that I'd never have to experience). The bad news? You may be staring down this giant eyeball in your town soon. It's a traveling exhibit.

To see pictures of more terrifying (or just plain weird) statues like Oslo, Norway's "Naked Man Kicking the Crap out of Several Babies", visit Cracked.com

The Power of Words

I love this so much I've Facebooked it, Twittered it, and want to share it with you here. If you love words, you'll love this.

Kick-ass Shoes

I could use a pair of these as I fight corporate America for a fair severance deal.

I'm Laid Off...and a Little Pissed Off

I have officially joined the ranks of the unemployed. The day job went bust; after nearly two years of back-breaking, spirit crunching labor, I'm on the streets.

So far, I've been riding a roller-coaster of emotions.  First I was pissed off. We all like to think if we work ourselves nearly to death, with a chipper attitude and a "no problem" spirit we'll be safe when the axe falls, but I always knew that to some fat cat somewhere (not pulling my hours, or handling anywhere near the amount of work I did, but getting paid four times as much) I was just a number on a spreadsheet. So, my number came up and that was that.

Pissed is still making a regular appearance, but takes a backseat sometimes to fear (I liked a regular paycheck), sorrow, happiness (I really missed writing fiction), and excitement.

A few days before it happened, we watched The Sound of Music.  Maria reminded me that when god (or whatever-insert your preference here) closes one door, a window opens. That bit of hope helped me explain this sudden turn of events to my devastated daughter, who admitted she was mostly upset because she liked my office, and the food at work.  She felt better too when I pointed out how tired mommy always was, how often I was away from home, working at night and on the weekends, and reminded her that I might actually be able to be an active mom again, and much happier not working like a slave.

So, aside from the worry over how I'll pay my mortgage next month, I'm doing fine. At the moment at least.

Friendly Donuts, Evil Signmakers

I can't decide what's worse, that someone paid to have this donut sign printed with such an obvious mistake (and hung it proudly on the side of their building), or that the sign maker printed it as asked.

Either way, I could go for a donut.